“Unwanted Visitors” (a Seattle story)

In a week when the federal government ordered troops into Los Angeles and Seattle’s police chief said that he expects to be arrested for resisting federal bullies, I invite you to read an excerpt from “Unwanted Visitors.” Originally published by B Cubed Press, it’s one of the stories in my new collection Patti 209: Fifteen Tales of the Very Near Future.

“Routine check of the block.” The agent’s speech was devoid of inflection. He probably said that same phrase 50 times a day. Or, in the case of Federal Security, a night. They usually came at night.

His partner was already pawing through magazines on my coffee table, peering at books in my bookcases, and opening drawers in the table where I sort the mail. Marie had come out from the kitchen. Now she perched on the arm of a club chair, her open mouth proclaiming her disbelief.

I stood by the sofa, my eyes on anything but the agents. I always stood when Federal Security came.

The taller agent, the one who’d spoken, brushed past. I wrinkled my nose. His cloying body spray was an assault in and of itself. He jogged heavily upstairs to the bedrooms, squeezing his bulk through the narrow staircase. Meanwhile, in the dining room, his colleague stuck his hand in a vase.

I moved closer to Marie. “Security theater.” I kept my voice low. “Ever since the new administration declared Seattle a terrorist haven—” I rolled my eyes to indicate the absurdity of it, “the feds have been sending these rent-a-cops around to keep us on our toes, keep us frightened. They’ll check the computers, maybe ask to see my phone.”

“But that’s illegal!” Marie said, spluttering. “They need warrants! You should just tell them to leave.” 

I wished she’d keep her voice down. I kept my tone even. “Well, the feds have declared a state of emergency and they claim that means they don’t need warrants. Of course, people are filing lawsuits. But in the meantime, putting up with these visits is easier than being arrested.” I didn’t add that my next-door neighbor who’d resisted an inspection had disappeared the following day. His bungalow now sat empty, the front lawn overgrown. The couple across the street had adopted his dogs. Had he left town? Or was he in a detention camp? 

“The Bodies We Carry” (excerpt)

Here’s an excerpt from the short story “The Bodies We Carry” from my new collection Patti 209: Fifteen Tales of the Very Near Future, available now. I’d considered reading “The Bodies We Carry” for the Strong Women, Strange Worlds Zoom event, or at the book launch at the Couth Buzzard June 6, but the story hits too close to home at the moment.

“Hey, Kath, check this out,” Dean had said when he saw the first news story about the camps.

I’d listened as I cleared our breakfast dishes, shaking my head in incredulity as he explained. Some group calling themselves Campers for Care had obtained the home addresses of the CEOs and board members of major insurance companies, drug companies, and hospitals.

Dean grinned. “They’re taking dead bodies to their offices. To the lobbies of their beachfront condos. They put three dead bodies on the dock of this guy’s vacation place. This is great.”

I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Dean. I seriously doubt the cities are letting them do this.”

Dean steadied his laptop on bony knees. “No, it says here that San Francisco and Denver are giving the Campers permission to keep the bodies on site, in body bags, for up to 36 hours. And there’s been what they call a ‘dead camp’ going on for nearly two weeks in front of some pharma CEO’s mansion in Chicago.”

“You don’t really—” But I stopped. I hadn’t seen that glint in my husband’s eyes for months. 

“Kath, seriously, this is perfect for me,” he said. “I’ll be dead in a month or two, and they say they’re going to start up some camps in Seattle. Let’s just keep the possibility in mind. Please?”

“Yoga for Protesters”

The fury in me honors the fury in you. Oh, does it ever.

Originally published in The Protest Diaries from B Cubed Press, the short story “Yoga for Protesters: A Field Guide” appears in my new collection Patti 209: Fifteen Tales of the Very Near Futureavailable now.

“Yoga for Protesters” was inspired by my awesome yoga instructor, Susan Powter. Here’s one of the most challenging poses:

Pose to Protest Political Corruption

Place one mat in the hallway outside the politician’s office. Take turns with other constituents using the mat for regular yoga practices. It is fine to do any version of Hatha, Iyengar, Vinyasa, or Ashtanga. Be careful of the slippery environment. When the politician is under investigation or indictment, you can switch to Bikram (hot) yoga for the duration.

I’ll be demonstrating some yoga for protesters to kick off my June 6 reading at the Couth Buzzard bookstore in Seattle. Details here.